Fantastic University Notice

Re:Masturbation in Showers

We have found several blockages in showers in university owned accommodation, most commonly caused by human hair.

However, over last term we found many of these blockages to be caused by large quantities of what we have now determined to be semen. This is intolerable,and we shall be tracing the culprits by means of DNA matching if the problem persists.

May we advise students who wish to masturbate to do so in the comfortof their own rooms, rather than in the showers.

Thank you for taking time to read this document.


P Robinson,
Director,
Estates and Buildings